Previously in videogames: Irrational Games release the box-art for their forthcoming title, Bioshock Infinite. The reception? Some folks love it, while other call for its burning.

The main issue seems to be that it’s all a bit ‘meh’. The cover depicts protagonist, Booker DeWitt, standing about looking a bit steely eyed holding a shotgun. If Bioshock was a first-person shooter, then this would be the generic stance. But we all know Bioshock isn’t just a game about guns and shooting shit. It’s about magic, it’s about immersion; it’s about stories that take you out of your own life and into a world populated by diverse characters, and it’s about freedom. None of these things are conveyed by the cover.

Now, I know some of you clever clogs are quick to point out “But Wes! How do we know what our main character looks like if it’s in first-person? They did it with Half-life. We need to see his face!”

I’d counter that argument with: “You can see his face online, thus you don’t need his rugged but perfect face on the front cover of the case.”

I could write an article discussing this problem in detail, but let’s face it, there’s only so many ways you can say ‘generic’ and ‘inept’ before you start to sound like a bitter old journalist who’s just been told Booker DeWitt will be appearing on the front of a Bioshock game. Instead, I’m going to show you what I mean, with pretty pictures showcasing just how generic the cover truly is.

Change the hue and saturation a lil bit and hey presto, you’ve got yourself Call of Duty: Bioshock: Generic War-fighter 82. Hip, hip? No. No hurrays for you, Mr. Generic videogame cover.

Remember Uncharted? It’s that game with Booker DeWitt in. He plays Nathan Drake. You know the one. It’s got a cover with a steely-eyed guy holding a shotgun.

Bioshock is about guns now, isn’t it? It’s about shooting people, driving cars, and hookers, can’t forget the hookers. That’s Bioshock, right?

One man, and his trusty PP7 shotgun, saves the day and gets the girl. Shaken, not stirred, into a bland mess of misconceived ideas.

I figured if I’m going to bash the cover, I should probably be constructive. So I spared seven minutes and twenty-four seconds of my time (yes, I counted) to see whether I could create something more befitting to the legacy of Bioshock that doesn’t involve a guy holding a gun. Turns out it was pretty easy.