It wasn’t too long ago that I was a young gamer myself, one of those annoying beggars who make lots of noise in chat, talk in a voice that you can’t be sure is a girl’s or a boys and never swore or took a hack at anyone. As I’ve grown up, I’ve kept on the voice comm channels and watched a fair few younger gamers come (and go).
Along the way, I’ve listened to people getting pissed off at them, and felt myself getting pissed with them as well, and I’ve gradually come to the realization that it’s often felt so obvious what those kids should have been doing to get it right, and I’ve often wished I could have stepped in to offer the odd bit of advice myself. Hopefully the one or two kids who’ll read this in time might find some of the advice here useful (because let me tell you, the last thing most kids would do is go on the internet looking for tips on being a younger gamer).
Keep in mind that the Commandments here are more focused at the trailblazer kinds of Young Gamers. In short, these tips aren’t for your proverbial “CoD kiddies” but for people who might try MMOs like World of Warcraft or Eve Online, strategy games such as Starcraft and Company of Heroes, or first-person shooters such as Red Orchestra 2 and Arma. In effect, we’re looking at kids playing adult-level games (although not necessarily ones with adult ratings, which they probably shouldn’t be playing anyway).
1 - Thou Shalt Be Patient Young Padawan!
Games, in particular the more serious ones which require voice comms and the like, take a long time before you get meaningful results. You’ll have to put lot a of time and effort in to get the most out of them. This is probably obvious to most people, but young gamers have a bad enough reputation as it is; please don’t add fuel to the fire and present yourselves a bunch of screaming, swearing, thrill seekers who need instant gratifcation lest they run screaming to their mothers for sympathy at the first sign of trouble.
Just don’t.
If you feel angry or upset, give the game a chance. If it’s just not holding you, that’s fine, the game isn’t for you - go play something else. But, if you feel the game is for you, try something different and then come back. When all else fails, hop onto YouTube and see how the veterans play it.
2 - Come Hellfire and Damnation, Thou Shalt Wear Headphones!
Wear headphones. Just do it.
Seriously, the amount of swearing that goes on while you play, whether in-game or over voice chat, is going to get you into masses of trouble from your parents/guardians if they hear what the people on the other end of the line are saying. There’s a good reason why rating bodies/organizations don’t rate online interactions - nobody’s mother wants to hear what the guy you just teabagged in Halo thinks of you.
Headphones will just save you all kinds of trouble.
On a side-note, have a push-to-talk button. It’s kinda embarrassing when your parents/guardians come into your room and there’s a bunch of gamers on the other end. Trust me, having push-to-talk saves a lot of embarrassment.
You might run across the occasional well-spoken group of online gamers. If so, please let me know so that I can record their conversation for posterity. You might not play online very often, in which case you might get away without them. Otherwise though, get a decent pair of headphones. You’ll thank me for it.
3 - Thou Shalt Be Honest!
When you’re joining your clan or gaming group, admit that you’re under 18. This is less important if your voice has broken, but it’s painfully obvious (and embarrassing) when it hasn’t. In text chat beforehand, warn your potential comrades-in-arms that you are young. It’s kind of embarrassing (especially if you’re a shy guy, like me), but to save embarrassment (and rejection over voice comms later on), do it once you’ve established a good base with them and they seem interested in you joining them. If they reject you out of hand, they weren’t worth joining in the first place. Don’t cherish fantasies of proving your worth to them - they’ll spot you instantly.
As part of this, check the group’s requirements, if they say that they want people only of a certain age, don’t waste your time - they mean it.
4 - Thou Shalt Not Broadcast Your Every Move Over Comms!
So I just started learning this skill, now I’m going to this sector, mom is making meat loaf for dinner and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!This one irritates me a lot. I can go back and check out chat logs from my time in Eve Online, and what I see there is so embarrassing. More recently I was playing Red Orchestra 2: Rising Storm and one younger player told the team about practically every move he was making. You’d know if he was manning a machine gun, or keeping an eye on a gully or had just been killed. Later on I wished I’d given him some tips.
I’ll be blunt: nobody really cares what you’re doing in a game. As long as you’re not screwing up massively, or hurting other people’s chances, they’ll leave you alone. It’s okay to ask questions, but don’t tell everyone every detail of how it goes. Telling everyone about your games just imposes your personality on them throughout every match. They’re not going to appreciate it. It’s hard enough to playing the game as it is. Remain silent and speak only when needed. If there’s a conversation going on, feel free to chime in - you shouldn’t be a silent presence - but don’t just blabber.
On that note…
5 - Thou Shalt Remember That Silence Is Golden!
At the tender age of 15, I had the misfortune for a few days of being part of a gaming group where I was one of the the oldest members. As I was used to Eve Online (where the average age seems to be about thirty to forty), this was something of a culture shock.
Previously, I’d seen write-ups for gaming groups who’d emphasized how there wouldn’t be music or other rubbish playing over comms. It was only at this point in this particular gaming group that I realised how irritating that could be. There was one member who was probably in the single digit years, and dear lord he was annoying. Playing music, immature swearing, constant chatter - the lot. Music is a universal pet hate: you’re always feeling the urge to tell them to get rid of it and actually, you know, play the game. It’s annoying having to alt-tab out to teamspeak or whatever to mute your audio and then later you have to do it again to bring back the audio again, jeopardizing your return to the game in the process as you can’t be sure if you haven’t missed something important, or if the the music will indeed have stopped.
A little while later, one kid seemed desperate to play his guitar to me over comms as well. That’s nice and all, but that’s not what I’m here for.
Recognize what everyone’s playing the game for the game. If they want to listen to music, they’ll play it through their headphones; there’s no need to supply it yourself. Same goes for mindless chatter - keep it to yourself.
6 - Thou Shalt Be Above The Pack!
Whether you like it or not, people will expect you to represent your age group. Often you’ll be the only kid amongst dozens of adults. They’ll take note of what you do and your behavior will define how they’ll feel about the next kid who rocks up. It comes easily for me - as a rule I don’t generally swear; you can amass a fair bit of respect if you keep focused on the game and the task at hand, rather than on bagging the other guy or launching into random stories. Get comfortable, but don’t put your feet on the proverbial coffee table. Remember that for better or worse you’re representing what the “CoD kiddy” demographic, whether you identify with them or not.
Be a bigger adult than the adults basically. However much the studies might disagree, gaming helped my own growing up in many ways.
Also, be proud of yourself. You’re breaking the mold, not many people can do that.
7 - Thou Shalt Ignore The Bullies!
Bullying here is everything from straight out attacking a player, or the general bit of low-level nastiness - it’s a blanket term and can apply to many situations you’ll find yourself in online.
If someone is giving you hassle, just ignore what they’re saying. They’ll get bored after a while and give up. Feel free to bag them a little behind their back when they’re offline, so that people realise that you’ve noticed it and aren’t appreciating it, but not so much that it starts a big stink. If they start attacking you in-game, just report them - there are systems in place for that, and they are constantly being improved upon.
Don’t fight back and start a cuss-match because that just makes things worse…
8 - Thou Shalt Accept Misunderstandings!
This is another one for the guys whose voices haven’t broken yet. It’s probably not a good idea to be like the kid at the start of this video. Remember, be above the pack. As I’ve gotten older I’ve run across this myself, it’s rather difficult to tell at times what gender someone is. So just take it in your stride, expect and accept it when it calms. Don’t get angry or annoyed when it happens, for I guarantee that it will, often. It’ll happen and let it pass. Don’t stress about your masculinity or anything like that if it does happen.
If people want to know your age, that’s okay-ish, maybe embellish it a year or two if you want. If they want to know your hometown, generally it’s best to stick to your country - anything more and that’s probably a bit too far. By and large, the whole internet “stranger-danger” thing isn’t as much of an issue with modern multiplayer games where people are randomly matched as if, for example, you were having a text chat over Facebook; that being said, it’s not a good idea to push your luck. Feel free to discuss things a bit with your parents/guardians if need be, if only so they feel a bit more in control. Parents like being in that position - they’re parents.
9 - Thou Shalt Accept Rejection!
When I was younger, there was one flight simulator squadron which - after I’d hung out with them for a month or two - pretty much turfed me out for being too young.
Whilst he did stipulate that I could come back in a month, the writing was on the wall. If that happens, accept it. There’s nothing you can do. If you’re really desperate, then wait a few years - but honestly, they’re probably not worth it. Move on.
I was lucky enough to be flying with another set of people who’d eventually make me a founding member of the group they formed, which I am part of to this day. Don’t get hung up on one community. If you really enjoy a game, don’t let one group throwing you out color your opinion of the game or its community as a whole. There will be other groups who are more welcoming and inclusive. You never know where things will take a turn. But do stay around (if you enjoy the game) and make sure to remind the group of your existence every now and again.
What you shouldn’t do is make a stink over it on the game’s forums or within the group. You’ll inevitably be on the losing side, and it’ll just poison the group’s attitude toward you even more.
10 - Thou Shalt Enjoy Yourself!
Gaming is fun. Gaming in a group is some of the best fun you’ll ever have.
Some of the things I’ve done with other people in numerous games I can still remember to this day. In the course of it, I’ve learned new skills and I’ve grown more confident. In-game and outside of games, I can take leadership roles with ease - something I wouldn’t have dreamed of years ago. Perhaps it’s something I would have grown into either way, but there is no arguing that gaming is what allowed me to take the reins. Gaming is a fantastic sandbox where the consequences for screwing up are largely hidden or forgotten. Successes meanwhile, whilst easily forgotten by everyone else, are something that you will always cherish.
Enjoy yourself and take pride in what you accomplish, and you’ll be a better person as a result of your experience. Don’t expect things to happen overnight - the advice here is garnered from five years of time spent in various games in various gaming communities. Go online expecting nothing and you will cherish what you get out of it all the more. There will be times when the game servers are empty and nobody will speak back on teamspeak. But sometimes they won’t be empty, and this is when great things can happen. Enjoy yourself and enjoy what you do; that is all you and everyone else can ask for.
It’s a game, not your life.
