Final bosses are supposed to mark the end of a satisfying journey. But what happens when an end boss doesn’t match up the grandeur of the events that precede it?
I read an article not so long ago that got me thinking. What are the most underwhelming boss fights I’ve ever had the misfortune of playing? Which bosses sucked the enjoyment out of a great game? Is it at all possible to compile some sort of list to elucidate my thoughts and feelings? Maybe even a top five?
Behold!
5: Richard Dalton (Army of Two)
The only thing worse than an underwhelming boss fight is a non-existent boss fight! The closing moments of Army of Two sees the player fight through an office to the top floor while chasing Mr Dalton. Do we then get into a big ol’ gun fight? Does he jump into a super Mech and rain down bullets as we scuttle for cover? Nope, that would leave the player feeling like they’ve accomplished something. Instead, we are treated to a cut scene where Dalton tries to escape in a helicopter only to have our heroes use a rocket launcher to blow him to holy hell.
Using a rocket launcher in a final battle is a-okay by me, just give me the option of using the bloody thing and not watching someone else have all the fun!
4: Bowser (Super Mario Bros.)
Super Mario Bros. is home to one of the best difficulty curves in gaming history. The first level was akin to a nice stroll in the park on a summer’s day. The last level -complete with Hammer Bros.- was a horrific contrast to its Mushroom Kingdom counterpart, mixing a darker palette with eerily lit areas.
So what did Nintendo do to make the final battle with Bowser different to all the others that came before it? They added fire and hammers …
The levels up until now reflect a change in difficulty as the game suddenly grows much harder. The darker things get, the harder they become. So was it really a good idea make Bowser near identical to every other Bowser battle? Could we not have had something a little different to keep things fresh?
It’s easy to say “oh it’s an old game, the tech wasn’t about back then, blah, blah, blah.” Imaginative endgame battles are always a possibility with the right dev team behind them, irrelevant of the tech. Nintendo could have given us something exciting and rewarding if they chose to do so, even back in the 8-bit era.
3: Gwyn, Lord of Cinder (Dark Souls)
Blood, sweat and tears doesn’t sum up the amount of pain involved in playing Dark Souls. Normally, games will have sets of difficulties allowing players of different skill levels to play the game as they see fit. Dark Souls however throws this out the window and forces gamers to play one difficulty: Ridiculously hard.
Boss battles are built around learning your attackers’ pattern and reacting appropriately, be it swinging a sword, running, casting spells or in my case, dying repeatedly. Other bosses in Dark Souls are terrifying. The sheer scale of some of them leaves you questioning if fighting them is even a good idea.
Never before in a game have I encountered a boss and thought about turning it off because I know what pain awaits me.
The one legitimate gripe I have with Dark Souls is that the end boss was a cakewalk in comparison to those that came before. Gwyn was not over-sized like Hydra; his health wasn’t like chopping away at a Redwood with a butter knife. He runs, you move, you whack, he dies. The satisfaction we all felt when we finally dropped some of the insanely hard bosses in Dark Souls is unparalleled, so why on Earth the final boss was so easy and cheap is beyond me.
2: Dr Eggman (Sonic The Hedgehog)
Sonic The Hedgehog was the first outing for our speedy blue friend and introduced us to high octane-platforming action. That was until we hit Final Zone. Up until the finale, Dr Eggman (Robotnik, dammit!) came across as a mad professor/genius type, who used his brains and love of all things mechanical to outwit Sonic. From flying machines with a ball and chain attached to shooting out fireballs, Eggman (Robotnik!) boss battles were a joy to play, balancing tactics with difficulty flawlessly.
Final Zone took all the enjoyment out of Sonic and replaced it with some pipes that attempted (terribly) to crush the player while avoiding a handful of sparkly lights. To make matters worse, there was no sense of danger, the player had a safe spot where the crushers couldn’t hit them and from here, avoiding the sparks was just a case of moving slightly to the left.
It’s for this reason, Dr Eggman (Robotnik!) is a truly god-awful boss battle.
1: Mehrunes Dagon (Oblivion)
First off let me say how much I love The Elder Scrolls and all things Oblivion. TES IV wasn’t just a game, it was an experience.
I know how conceited that may sound but I think it’s safe to say anyone who played over the hundred hour mark will fully understand and agree with that sentiment.
Oblivion was epic. Not in the overused sense of the word that the internet loves, but in the precise definition, melding RPG with action and even an intense story to back it up.
After forty or so hours, after countless items I had to find, after The Blades and Martin Septim did nothing whatsoever to aid me in my quest to “close shut the jaws of Oblivion,” I was tasked with accompanying Mr Septim to light the Dragonfires. Then, low and behold, Mehrunes Dagon appears to thwart my plans.
D’oh!
What would normally happen in video gaming terms is a boss battle to round up all the long hours I’ve sunk into this game so that I go away feeling like I’ve accomplished something.
That didn’t happen.
Instead my job was to run past this mountain of a Daedra, ignoring him completely and click on a door which leads me to a room where Septim turns into a dragon and sends Dagon back into Oblivion.
It’s fine that Martin hasn’t done anything to help me out and it’s fine that after forty long hours he gets all the credit and I get robbed of an epic boss battle …
Attention seeking jackass!
